I’ve thought a lot about moving blogs and leaving Livejournal for good. I’ve been in LJ for one year and nine months and for that long time, I feel like I’ve written a lot about all that I’ve felt and gone through. I met a lot of good and wonderful people over there, people who’ve helped shape the way I write about certain things. However, I don’t feel that it’s the right avenue for me anymore. I want to improve my writing. I want to write about more things, more serious stuff. So here I am.
I haven’t always been too happy about new beginnings because new beginnings felt like leaving a lot of things behind: people, places, memories. When my family decided to move to BF Homes, I wasn’t sure what to feel. I was 10 years old. I had a lot of friends, playmates in Betterliving, where we used to live, and leaving that seemed like the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Of course I didn’t want to leave. Why would I want to leave a place where I’ve grown up and where I’ve had so many friends? But I didn’t really have much of a say in the matter. I was only a child after all. And so we moved. We moved to a place where I knew no one, a place which was so foreign to me that I stayed inside the house everyday, except when I needed to go to school. I never made friends because I never went out to meet one.
Eventually, though, my resolve crumbled and I started going out of the house. And slowly, I met new people and made new friends. I still kept in touch with old friends from my old home and everything worked out in the end. Right now, I’m completely happy with where we live and feel really blessed with the move.
But there was another new beginning that really shook me. It was when I moved schools, from CSA to DLSZ. The move was for the best because many things weren’t going well at my old school. Friendships weren’t going so well and the distance of the school to my house made me too tired. I agreed with my parents to change schools because it was for the best. But it really scared me to know that I would have to start all over again. I had to make new friends again. I had to get comfortable with the environment. I had to get to know new teachers. There were so many things to get used to that I wasn’t sure I could handle it. The aspect I was most frightened of was the one of making new friends.
There was an experience at my old school that still haunted me at that time. I still couldn’t shake it and it nearly traumatized me. I thought that I wasn’t going to be able to meet real friends. I thought that I was going to have to go through schooling alone. But, of course, it didn’t happen that way. Certain people came up to me, people who until now remain to be some of my closest friends.
I seem to have a friends issue, don’t I? Haha!
Starting all over again isn’t easy for most people. It requires a lot of effort to get used to something new. There’s a lot of fear involved. We’re out of our comfort zone and just can’t wait to go back to it – except we can’t because it is something we have to face and do.
I am glad for all the opportunities for new beginnings I’ve been given. If we hadn’t moved houses, I don’t think that I’d have experienced life with my family like I’ve had. There are a lot of things I like about living in BF Homes. I like the fact that there a church less than a minute’s walk from our house. I like the fact that we live near my tita’s and tito’s houses. I like the fact that we’re near Ruins, which is a tiangge that my family and I love to go to. I like the fact that there’s Sinangag Express nearby. And there’s so much more!
Being a Lasallian has taught me so many things and has given me so many great experiences. I’ve met some of the best people I’ve known in that school, which I’m very grateful for. Ifeel truly blessed that I’ve been given an opportunity to study there.
I think going to college is the new beginning I’m most grateful for. I’m having the experience of my life and I’m glad that it’s not yet over (although it nearly is!).
I now love new beginnings. I love the fresh starts and the beautiful things it has brought into my life. I’m looking forward to more.
